Excessive Awareness

I think they should rename Attention Deficit to something more suitable like Excessive Awareness. After all, I don’t notice that I am lacking in anything, but rather I seem to notice way too many things and that’s why I can’t focus. Of course, maybe I’m the only one who thinks of stuff like that. At any rate, I have realized some key things about how I am different from most people. First, I am not a leader blazing new trails for others to follow. Secondly, I don’t really follow or wait for others to show me the way. Finally, I am more an explorer curiously traversing through life guided only by my attention-starved brain anxiously searching for this place they call “normal.” My findings have taught me some crucial lessons:

1. Life in my universe is different and that’s OK.
2. Others don’t necessary “see” the frazzled part of me that I see.
3. Therapy is a good thing.
4. Write down your goals or you will forget what they are.
5. Make a map of how you are going to meet your goals and refer to it often making smaller sub-lists daily/weekly/monthly to ensure you’re going the right way.

In the end I’ve realized that life with or without attention deficit is much like a vacation in that it’s not the destination itself that matters, but what you see and do along the way that counts.

Phase 1: Accepting that life is different in your universe.
Anyone with a physical or emotional disability can tell you life is vary different and often more challenging. Take an 18-year old boy who has survived a life-threatening car crash and is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Others not knowing exactly what to say to him in such a situation might say, “You’re so lucky to be alive.” Maybe he would agree and maybe he wouldn’t. But, one thing’s for sure, life for him will be much different than most. No, he likely doesn’t want pity, but he doesn’t want to be ignored or shoved in a corner and forgotten about either. He wants the same opportunities as everyone else has in life like taking airplane rides, falling in love, having a family, and so on. Initially he may feel cheated out of these things when really he just needs to revise his plan for meeting those goals.

Having a psychological disability like attention deficit or anxiety disorder similarly limits one’s path in life both in physical and intellectual ways. Although my disabilities are mental and not physical, I am encumbered by my brain's habitual thoughts and impulses nonetheless.

Phase 2: See yourself from a different point of view.
Like Alice in Wonderland, I’ve always wanted to go through the looking glass and see the world in a very different way. Well, I have learned you can do this but it takes a bit of training to get your mind to see things differently.

Phase 3: Therapists, Psychologists, and Head-Shrinkers, Oh My!
Most people in my family know I’ve had lots of therapy in my life, but if you were to ask them their opinion of therapy, they’d likely say it’s been great for me, but they personally like to solve their own problems. Well, the truth is therapy has many uses and can be just as healthy as dieting and exercise. Think of it as a kind of a "life coach" helping you meet your goals by dealing with your emotional baggage.

Phase 4: Make a plan and write it down.
Research has shown people remember things better if they write them down. Successful people often talk of writing down and reviewing their goals and updating the list as they make accomplishments. Goals don’t just have to be for careers either; they’re great for personal needs and improving your emotional wellbeing too.

Phase 5: If you want to get where you’re going, you’ll need a map.
Another trait of successful people is not only their planning skills, but also their ability to execute on their plans. To this execution is like a road map to show you how to navigate from your current location in your life to desired destination (e.g., overcome a phobia, advance your education, move along that coveted career path, improve your body with physical exercise, and ultimately feed your soul by achieving your dreams).

My own personal road map includes a travel accommodation I need for my claustrophobic condition where I always book airline reservations online so I can pick the aisle seat I want to feel less anxious. I know I’ll never be at ease in close quarters, but I’m not beyond asking someone “accidentally” sitting in my reserved aisle seat to move. Because I am uncomfortable making such requests, I often turn the situation into a joke on myself to lighten the air a bit. One time I even asked a person to move because, “I’m claustrophobic and the stewardess’ hate it when I wander around the plane during takeoff.” The person just smiled and said “sure thing” and closed his laptop and kindly moved over.