Thursday, March 6, 2008

Alternate Route

Today my horoscope advised me to Find an Alternate Route to a problem and it was advice I immediately knew I needed. My present ordeal has me anxiously trying to detach myself from my teenage son’s schoolwork issues, which is especially hard for me since he’s my first born. The situation begs me to wonder why, as parents, we have such definite aspirations for our children when they themselves don’t even know what they want.

I can definitely see why raising a teenage is dubbed the most difficult phase of child rearing. They are becoming their own person with adult bodies, emotions, and convictions that are all new and exciting but unfamiliar and quite overwhelming. As teens ourselves, we didn’t feel our parents understood us and now as parents, we find ourselves wishing our teens could recognize that we remember all too well the joys and pains of adolescence. But, recognizing your own parents’ wisdom seems to be a life lesson that takes many decades to fully appreciate.

The protecting nature of a parent can be overwhelming at times despite knowing your children must find some things out for themselves because the lesson is a direct result of the pain they endure in the process. Like touching a stove, you could do everything possible to avoid the burn, but once they feel the pain, it is not forgotten and can really only be learned one way. Parents not only feel the pain along with their children, they have the added “bonus” of experiencing the additional intensity that anticipation brings.

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