What We DO Have Time For

I’m tired of hearing and reading about how out-of-balance we are juggling the ever-expanding roles and responsibilities our hectic lives require. Too often I find myself telling someone, “I would, but things are just so busy right now” only to realize there is never a time when I’m not frantic. Why do I let myself become sucked into the over-scheduling vortex? Guilt has this deadlock grip on me making me think I should do more than I’m capable of handling. The media doesn’t help matters and I’m shunning TV, print, and online news because it makes you feel bad about life. I take any more stories touting the evils of technology addiction, poor nutrition, and sleep deprivation.

I suppose such ominous facts grab our attention, which is ultimately the point. They want to pique your interest and we all know that bad news travels faster than the speed of light. However, my frustration with world affairs makes me glad I have the freedom to retreat from society to seek out others who desperately seek a path of light and optimism.

'Smiling Sisters'
My Grandma (Gracie, right) with her
dad (Johnnie) and two sisters
Lorena (left) and Francis mid 1940s.

To that end, I’ve compiled a list of things I DO have time for each day/week/month/year. Hopefully, you can find some useful tips, hope, and joy to fit into your own routine!

1. Smiles – It takes no extra time to SMILE and SAY THANKS to people throughout the day. I’m setting a goal to do this twice daily until it’s a permanent habit.

Recently we merged with another company in town and re-located our employees to their site. I was pleasantly surprised to find so many familiar faces (from other companies I’ve worked for over the years) along with many new friends. Smiling and saying hello to everyone (even ones I couldn’t name) makes me feel so at home

'Smiling Football Fans'
Rollie, dad, and me Sept. 2010 at the
Iowa vs. Iowa State football game.

 and comfortable. Had I taken a more standoffish stance, I’d surely get a far different reaction walking those halls each day. For inspiration, visit The Art of Smiling website.

2. Healthy Body – If I don’t treat my body well, I’m prone to illness plus feel tired and drained. A daily regimen of exercise plus eating fresh fruits and veggies keeps everything in good working order. Being fit gets me through those very busy, overwhelming days!

I’ve discovered as I age that eating and exercising properly is a necessity rather than a novelty. If I don’t eat yogurt and bananas for breakfast, my sinuses clog up and I get infections easily. If I forget to take my Citrucel fiber each morning, my intestines painfully remind me. Skipping exercise and stretching for more than a day gives me stiff joints and achy muscles. Giving my body what it craves lets me live every day more fully. If you need a kick in the butt to get healthier, check out this book I’m reading called "The Superstress Solution" by Roberta Lee, M.D. The 4-week diet and lifestyle program is a wonderful read on handling stress more efficiently, building resilience, relaxing, plus sleeping well and managing your weight.

3. Get Outdoors – I cannot say enough about the miraculous way nature fills my soul. A walk in the park or even sitting in my car facing a tree or meadow is entrancing. Watching the birds, squirrels, and other creatures scurrying about is both soothing and rejuvenating. Check out this article for motivation: Looking at Nature Makes You Nicer.

4. Simplicity – Everyone likes cool stuff (even me), but before I buy I ask, “Is this for a physical need or an emotional one?” Buying things feels good, but too much stuff makes more work, which I don’t need. Besides, most times a good cleaning/rearranging session makes me feel like got a new wardrobe or redecorated.

I love reading and have researched electronic book readers (where you can download thousands of titles via a web connection) at great length. Yet, I hesitate because buying books second-hand (at a fraction of the list price) and re-selling my old titles is so economical. Plus, printed versions let you write notes in margins, highlight favorite passages, are easily dried out when spilled on, can be shared with friends, and require no batteries or charging. If I traveled more for work, I’d invest in an e-reader, but for now, the low-tech print books are best.

5. Give within Limits – My mailbox and email are overflowing with ‘Won’t You Please Help…” requests, plus the nightly phone calls. Giving is good whether it’s your money or time, but setting limits makes saying ‘No’ easier. I confine myself to these charities: (1) soldier/veterans’ groups like the USO and DAV and (2) Easter Seals benefiting disabled children. Even if I only have $5 to give some years, that’s still good I did for someone else.

A Retreat Alone

(Two young maple trees
outside our farmhouse in 2000)

H.D. Thoreau heralded the wonders of being alone in nature. I have an old, worn paperback compilation of his works in my office that I periodically peruse when I need a good dose of earthy inspiration. Country life is miraculous because you can actually hear the wind blowing and bird’s voices echoing across the landscape. When a lone car or truck careens down the road, its approach is evident from a long way off. Although city-dwelling birds and creatures are numerous, their voices are drowned out among the urban chorus of machines, vehicles and crowds.

(One of our grown maples today)

Wanting to take advantage of these picturesque views, I recently rearranged my desk to face the office window looking eastward through a pair of stately maple trees. They were but rail-thin saplings when we bought the farm (as the above picture shows), but 10 years growth has transformed them into marvelous shade-filled beauties (as shown, right). From their branches, well-stocked bird feeders draw winged singers. In the early mornings when I rise to write, the sunlight spills through the leaves and onto the dewy grass beneath. Soon the greenery will transform into a palette of orange, red, and gold as fall arrives. For now, though, my senses gorge themselves with the cooler temperatures and the lush green Garden of Eden outside my window.

Unfortunately, life’s hectic journey encroaches on one’s time regardless of where you reside. Lawns still need mowed, carpets need vacuumed, and laundry needs washed no matter how serene things look outside your window. But for those few moments each morning, I have my little piece of heaven where nothing else exists. This brief meditation fills me with inspiration to wade through the hectic day of family, work, and personal responsibilities. As I write this now, a storm is brewing outside as the leaves are rustling loudly and the gray sky is thick and heavy. Better take my umbrella to work, but then again maybe a few raindrops would feel good.

CAUTION: Flamingo Crossing

These well-dressed flamingos
visting our farm last May sported
Americana-inspired scarves.

Family traditions can be engaging, difficult, and enlightening, but none is as entertaining as our own Flamingo Gang. This clan strikes by stealth leaving a flock of pink birds in their wake with other telltale signs claiming responsibility. No one remembers (or admits knowing) where the practice originated, but many family members have been implicated in the gang’s antics.

The level of creativity displayed at some sites leaves little doubt that considerable planning goes into these artistic arrangements. And, there’s no denying the attention these exhibitions attract.

The Flamingo Gang left this
calling card on the mailbox.

Who can blame drivers for slowing to gawk at a perfectly lush lawn containing a strange collection of flamingoes surrounding an old toilet littered with beer cans as if they’d been out on an all-night bender. The victim is then tasked with selecting the next target while allowing enough time to elapse between incidents as to question who was responsible for the latest episode.

Some might consider the tradition juvenile or at least strange. But, isn’t retaining a childish sense of fun an ageless pursuit? We spend too much of our lives being serious and rushing from one thing to the next, so a little flamingo humor now and then is a healthy thing.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This blog author in no way admits to having direct knowledge of or experience with The Flamingo Gang and/or the incidents described herein. She is merely relating this engaging tale for the sole purpose of making you laugh!

Reclaiming Space

Crowded Office (BEFORE)

Anyone who’d witnessed the truckload of stuff we hauled to Goodwill this weekend surely wondered what we were up to here. The big cleanout initiated from my lifelong desire to start my own writing business and I needed a dedicated space for the job. However, our modest 1800-square-foot home doesn’t afford us many options for a home-based business. The office/den area is half of a long, narrow room in our house that also houses the living area, separated by a partial wall. Being technology geeks, we have three desktops and two laptops in our house, four of which were jam-packed like sardines into that small office. You could hardly move your chair without bumping into another one.

My Writing Office (AFTER)

Everyone who’s visited our home in the last year always asked the same thing, “How many computers do you have?” That should have been a sign something needed done, but we always used the excuse ‘there’s nowhere else to put them’ to justify ignoring the problem. Of course, trying to write amidst all this activity (especially a rowdy game of CounterStrike) did little to foster my creativity. Although having an entire room was a luxury, to be a serious writer, I needed a place of my own to feel professional, be productive, and get inspired. On a whim, I ran the idea by my husband to reconfigure the space solely for my writing business. Somehow, within a matter of hours, we made a plan to:

(1) Clean/organize the closets to store clothes and eliminate the bulky dressers.

(2) Sell the unused workout equipment (since we bike outdoors or use our gym membership).

(3) Move the desktop computers to one of the boys’ bedrooms.

When Friday night rolled around, I was itching to get started. By Saturday evening, we had reclaimed every closet in our house and I finally had that office space all to myself. It is grand (to me anyway) and I love working in this space. There is definitely something magical about having a room (aka ‘office’) of one’s own.

Book Project

I’ve been writing a novel for a few months now. The process feels comfortable like a favorite pair of jeans or old sweatshirt. The ‘business’ end of the work involves goal-setting, milestones, timelines, and reader feedback loops. The surprise is how the book has come alive like a newborn crying in a crib longing for me to pick it up and nurture it. I find myself needing to write more and more each day, which tells me I must heading in the right direction.

The drawback of writing everyday means cleaning and yard work tasks are backing up as I postpone them as long as humanly possible. Most days, the dishes overflow the sink and laundry is spilling into the hallway. Mowing and garden chores are a joy of mine, but I’ve had to farm out those jobs to my husband and boys, abandoning my preference to have things done a ‘certain way.’

I find myself envious of those homes with clearly divided rooms with walls for private writing space. The evenings are especially busy evenings when dinner, homework, sports practices/games, and trips to the store for more milk abound. Now that we’re up to about three gallons a week, I’m wondering if I can work a deal with that dairy farmer down the road. Headphones and earplugs can only block out so much noise and our home’s open floor plan means the busy energy is everywhere. Remaining focused is challenging when you share office space with the ‘CounterStrike gang’ engaged in a boisterous round of a counter-terrorism game.

Not surprisingly, the main character of my book (Maggie Long) is also a writer who uses the family camper as her satellite office. The concept flowed easily as I was writing that part of the story and has me thinking Maggie is onto something. After all, our own camper has a kitchen for coffee and snacks, a bathroom, and a table for writing space. I so love how writing this book has become an amusement park ride with me laughing and hanging on for dear life. Stay tuned for more novel news to come!

Chasing Miracles

View from our suite at Wild Horse Pass Resort & Spa

Admittedly, we’d had enough of the snow and dreary days when we booked our Phoenix vacation in early March. The warm, sunny weather invigorated our spirits just as we’d hoped. We stayed in a remote area outside Chandler, Arizona at the Wild Horse Pass Resort & Spa where the breath-taking landscapes, babbling brooks, and endless blue skies made us feel like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. My husband and I hadn’t taken a vacation alone in over a decade. It’s sad how we let life and time get away from us before admitting we’re frazzled because we neglect our souls. Like most Americans, carving out time away from TVs, cell phones, and electronic gadgets is usually bumped from the schedule to squeeze one more 'To Do' item into our already overstressed daily itineraries.

Rawhide western town and steakhouse in Chandler, AZ

When we do make time for self-care by hitting the gym, pampering ourselves, or walking the dog after work, we still ‘guilt’ ourselves about tasks we had to skip or postpone. My sister and I often compare notes about fun, effective relaxation methods in much the same way we played together as kids. “You won’t believe what I did the other day,” is the best thing to hear and share with a friend. Sharing joyful energy is so powerful. The puritanical idea of serious, hard work is so ingrained in our society, but we are literally killing ourselves by adhering to these ancient standards. I challenge those who feel ‘serious’ work is somehow more valuable and business-like. Isn’t working with a positive, energetic person more likely to make you a repeat customer?

Camping at Backbone fall 2009

While in Arizona, we took the opportunity to cruise the Iowa Department of Natural Resources Parks website. We chose and reserved three weekend getaways at our favorite campground Backbone State Park. This wonderfully serene spot features a lake for swimming and boating as well as trails for hiking and biking. The location near Strawberry Point is a short 45-minute drive from our home and to our surprise, offers no cell phone signal with our wireless carrier (oh well… he, he). Chase a few miracles of your own today and do something for your soul that makes you smile all day!

Awakenings

(by Melissa Kane)

Warm air dissolves snow’s blanket
Sunshine awakens moist earth

Revealing sleeping ground beneath

Ice wanes as water creeps and rushes

Momentary pools well up

Feeding swollen streams and rivers

Buds pop on limbs and branches

Foundlings stretch arms skyward

Shaking off hibernation hangovers

Winter’s dark cast retreats

Fresh sprouts proclaim nature’s revival

Ushering in our beloved bride SPRING

Anticipation

My Garden Shed

Beyond the open front porch windows, the sun shines brightly as birds croon and blades of new grass peep through the ground. I could drown myself in those beautiful rays of light. It’s unusual for me to ‘dress up’ for Easter, but this year I’m craving flowery prints for clothes and linens to celebrate the season’s rebirth. Although the scorching hot days of summer will soon be upon us making us head for the pool for a break from the heat, I say pump up the mercury on that thermostat, baby!

Cleaning is another seasonal blessing I’ve eagerly awaited knowing how miraculous it is to clear out the clutter and get a fresh start on the upcoming growing season. This year we plan to expand our veggie plots with additional raised garden beds on the south side, but within close proximity to the garden shed to make tending easier. My husband and I eagerly pour over seed catalogs carefully inventorying what’s needed and how we’ll rotate crops to extend the growing season. We also intend to make better use of the fresh raspberries, gooseberries, and mulberries that grow around our farm (perhaps even freezing extra cobbler for later).

Daffodils from my Paris, IA garden

The anticipation has me rethinking the old adage ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ Winter was likely just as long this year as last year and the year before that, but the greater number of gray days and never-ending piles of snow made the season feel much longer than usual. This heightened expectation has exaggerated my response to earth’s renewal making it so much sweeter. For some reason, the thought reminds me of dieting. The first time I went on the Atkins diet, weeks and weeks with no bread made me moody and edgy. When I finally allowed myself to eat some bread, I swore it was the sweetest tasting morsel I’d ever eaten.

Of course, now I’m hungry for fresh raspberries and vanilla ice cream. Even though I’ll have to wait a few months to taste that mouth-watering dessert, it will undoubtedly taste sweeter than ever. Until then, I’ll be watching for those first crocus, daffodil, and tulip bulbs of spring to emerge from their restful slumber. They will be a welcome site for my winter weary eyes.

Nowhere

The passion and purity of country life amid such raw landscapes is both humbling and profound. An eternal whistle of wind through the trees is engulfed by a muffled silence in which the noises of ‘stillness’ resonate. With no traffic sounds or yelling neighbors’ voices to be heard, your spirit can soar as high as the bald eagles flying overhead. With nowhere to hide and no one to hide from, the serenity wraps your soul like a warm blanket.

Certainly some would be bored stiff after a couple of days for lack of interesting and exciting activities. “So what is there to do out there?” is a common query, but it’s not about stuff to do; it’s about appreciating the awesome power of ‘calm.’ Still, there’s something deeply emotional about sitting comfortably silent for hours on your own. Embracing LONELINESS lets you get to know yourself in a way that isn’t possible amid constant chaos. After all, the beauty of solitude is what drew Henry David Thoreau to Walden Pond and inspired him to write about the miracles he experienced there. There’s just you and nature, who asks only that you leave your baggage at the door when you cross the proverbial threshold.

Although the hush of ‘quiet’ can be deafening, it is also equalizing, especially if you close your eyes and really listen. The low, howl of a winter wind has a pitch unlike the buzz and hum of summer. Autumn’s crunchy leaves echoing through bare trees strike a different chord from the drone of a fresh, spring rain. These soul-stirring essences conspire with the spectacular colors of a sunrise or sunset leaving you feel drunk with wonder.

I’ll leave you to consider two of my favorite ‘Walden’ excerpts from Thoreau, whose writing is as intoxicating for me as nature itself:

“In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear…I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life.”

Reach

  I regarded Serenity as this big red ball stuck in a tree with me endlessly jumping, arms outstretched but unable to grasp my target. Standing on boxes and even using branches to extend my reach were futile in retrieving it. Eventually, I gave up on the Serenity ball and was simply satisfied to distract myself from obsessing over stupid crap. The hard labor of cleaning and gardening were the only remedies that could annihilate my anxious energy. Writing was great for working through problems, but pulling weeds in the garden was my favorite diversion. After all, I could run out of things to clean, but would never run out of weeds.

One late spring day as I knelt beside a garden bed furiously yanking weeds, my oldest son, informed me we needed to hit the local sporting goods store to get him a new baseball bat. Drenched in sweat sporting muddy knees and gloves caked in dirt, I explained it would be ‘a while’ so I could finish the job and shower. He dropped his shoulders as he turned tail and went back inside. Going to town was not what I had in mind that sunny Saturday afternoon. I wanted to hide in the garden all day and at least make a dent in the new weeds that seemed to sprout up before my eyes. As I stood up to shake the layers of dirt from my gloves, my back creaked and I suddenly felt 100 years old. Maybe a break would be good after all. I went to the back porch, peeled off my dirty shirt and pants leaving them lay beside the sliding door. Grabbing the hose, I used the sprayer to rinse most of the dirt from my arms and legs. A stray hand towel found draped over a chair let me dry off before heading indoors.

Dick’s Sporting Goods was packed with people that day as the weekend shoppers were out in full force. Wanting to avoid the crowds (as much as possible anyway), I parked far from the door and away from the other cars. Inside, my son went to try out the bats and I decided to wander around the store to mark time while he looked. I ended up in the back of the store in ‘Shoes’ alone and grateful for the solitude. As I was checking out running shoes, he came up behind me sporting a smile and a shiny blue aluminum bat propped over one shoulder.

“Hey, we should look at bikes,” he said.

Oddly enough, the bike section was right next to the shoes, so we meandered that way. He immediately found a trail bike he thought he had to have and a glance at the price tag sent my eyes rolling back into their sockets.

“Yea, right,” was all I could say.

As I walked away from him, he set down his bat and attempted to ‘test drive’ the bike down the short aisle. I tried to ignore him and started looking at the women’s bikes. A salesman approached me asking if we needed help with anything.

“No, we’re just browsing right now, thanks,” I offered forcing myself to avoid his gaze.

“Well, let me explain how the different styles of bikes are arranged here. We have men’s on the left and women’s on the right. Within each section there are ‘trail’ and ‘racing’ styles and here we have a new style we just got called a ‘hybrid.’”

“What’s a hybrid?” my son asked as he walked up behind the salesman with bike in tow.

As he explained the various types of bikes, I became intrigued and asked him to pull down one of the hybrids for closer inspection.

“Which one are you interested in?”

I didn’t really know, as I hadn’t owned a bike in years.

“I’m not sure, but I like this one,” I said pointing to a white and gray hybrid with pink trim.

As he lifted the bike down off the rack, my son flashed me a wide, knowing grin.

“That’s a nice bike, mom.”

Already my mind was churning with possibilities of riding the cross-country bike trail not far from our place. I did love biking and my sister had marveled so at the stress-relieving benefits of daily exercise. I hopped on the seat and put my hands on the straight-style handlebars. To me the big drawback of a bike was the seat, but this one sported a comfort gel one with a wider base and more cushioning. The bike I had in college had been a 10-speed with curved handlebars requiring the rider to lean over to ride. Being over 40, I knew comfort was more my style and liked that this bike sat upright. I preferred the solitude of trail riding and the fit of this hybrid was just right.

“We could ride them on that trail, Mom.”

My son’s salesmanship was impeccable that much was certain. He knew just what to say to persuade me to shell out the $900 for those bikes that day. The thought of us riding the trail together, doing something healthy and fun, sealed the deal. With that, we headed home with the new bat and our new wheels chatting away as we made plans to go for a spin. I hadn’t felt this excited about exercise since college and couldn’t wait to tell my sister.

A few weeks and several test drives later, the newness had worn off the bikes, but my affection for cycling was stronger than ever. Most times, we biked together but I had taken a few solo trips as well. On the way home from work after a particularly stressful day, I found myself longing to take out the bike. As I drove past the trail entrance off Alice Road, a couple of riders sat waiting to cross. I wanted to be there on my own bike soaring along thinking of nothing but the ride. Earlier when I phoned my son to see if he was up for riding after work, he mumbled something about being sick and tired. I didn’t care if I had to go alone…I needed to ride. At home, I headed inside just long enough to change into my workout gear and grab a water bottle. My son, lying on the couch with remote in hand, inquired where I was headed.

“I gotta ride my bike today. Work sucked and I gotta ride.”

“I don’t know if I’ll go.”

“That’s fine. I HAVE to go,” I said and rushed out the back door to the garden shed to retrieve my bike. I rode along the sidewalk to the machine shed to load my bike in the back of the truck. As I lifted it into the truck’s bed, my son appeared clad in shorts, bike in hand.

“I guess I’ll go too,” he said as he loaded his bike and climbed in the cab.

The late afternoon sun was warm, but not hot for that time of year. Capri-length, Lycra pants and a long sleeved shirt were perfect attire for the ride. I took off faster than usual and pushed my new bike as hard as I could, shifting gears like a pro. This bike had 21 gears and it had taken me a while to get used to feel of them all. The adrenaline rush propelled me along the trail until I could no longer see my son riding behind me. The release of pedaling as fast as my legs would take me was surreal…almost like flying. The usual strain I felt on the trail’s inclines was surprisingly absent that day. I loved the feel of the wind on my face drying the sweat from my brow.

The trees and brush along the trail provided just enough shade and wind cover to insulate riders from the elements. The path itself had once been an old railroad line and was well built up with limestone and heavy bridges that provided easy access across busy highways. The only real maintenance required was trimming the foliage that occasionally encroached into the passageway. We always entered the trail at Alice Road by parking the truck roadside, which other riders did from time to time. There was a trail entrance point with a parking lot five miles further south, but we preferred the proximity of the Alice entrance. From there, the trail stretched 14 miles to the southeast and 40 miles to the northwest. Sometimes we'd take the flatter, southern route and other times we'd take the shadier but hillier northern route. Since my son needed to be at a 6pm baseball practice that afternoon, we opted to ride south.

On the drive home with the windows down, we savored the breeze as it massaged our sweat-soaked heads. My legs ached and I was spent, but felt glorious. Our other rides were good, but that day’s ride liberated me from more than just stress; it also freed me from myself. Natural endorphins were more effective than any pill, but this ecstasy was a new encounter. Two weeks prior, I’d stopped writing to allow frustration build up in my system. This catalyst was just what I needed for the day's hard ride to expel all the negative vibrations from my body.

Over the past few weeks, I’d lost seven pounds and gained so much energy that I finally knew why my sister was so infatuated with exercise. Although I wasn’t biking to impress her, I couldn’t help longing to pass on my illuminating experience. She already knew, but would act thrilled to hear it anyway. Maybe I’d reached that Serenity ball and at least budged it a little.

Top 10 Cold Weather Wonders

Too much of anything is bad for you (ok, some things are bad for you in any quantity, but we’re talking normal stuff here), so enough with the cold weather already! I’m all for snow days as much as anyone, but these sub-zero days are wearing out their welcome. Snow isn’t much fun when all you can stand to do outside is run to your car and back. Bone-chilling climates are fine for folks in Alaska or North Dakota, but here in Iowa we like our temperatures at 10 or above in the winter. The one bright side of this year has been our consistent, reliable heat and water supplies. Last year winter’s -29 degree conditions were disaster for our cattle’s automatic waterer, so we’re counting our blessings for working supplies this year. Saturday night was forecasted to be the last night of the frigid weather and I have my fingers crossed the weathermen are right on the money this time.

As they say, you have can’t joy without sorrow or sun without rain. Necessity has fathered many an invention and cold weather remedies are no exception. So in keeping with my New Year’s resolution to look more on the brighter side, I’m offering up my TOP 10 COLD WEATHER WONDERS:

10. Wearing gloves to bed (a bit unorthodox, but if your hands get cold at night like mine, try wearing a pair of those ultra-thin stretchable gloves to bed)
9. Starbucks Drive-Thru (love their coffee and drive-thru is a miracle for cold Iowa winters)
8. Chenille Socks (these keep your feet toasty warm even on hardwood floors)
7. Hot Pajamas (fresh from the dryer)
6. Flannel Sheets
5. Remote Car Starters (not so great for my dad, though, who somehow manages to start his accidentally by rolling over the remote during naps)
4. Electric Blankets
3. Hot Showers
2. High-tech hand/foot warmers (the ones you open and kneed with your hands to activate)
1. Body Heat (gives you an excuse to get close to your favorite person!)

Snow Dayz

My very favorite days are SNOW DAYS. Many folks find snow days a nuisance, yet the artistry and patterns in the snow outside coupled with family, fireplace blazing, and Christmas carols crooning inside are rare magic. You have to take those Norman Rockwell moments you when you get them, as they are so brief and nearly unrecognizable if you blink too long. These brief opportunities let life stand still if only for a day to let us be totally present in the now

An overnight foot plus of snow and blizzard conditions brought the world around us to a screeching halt with school/ business closings, cities/towns staying dark, and semi-trucks lining highways all waiting out the storm. Roads often drift considerably out here, but so long as there’s one passable lane, we get around with our big 4x4 truck well enough. In town, though, folks sit and wait for the city street crews to clear the roadways.

Rural homeowners know if power goes out, it can be several hours before it’s restored, so being prepared is a way of life. Stockpiles of firewood/candles provide warmth/light, a propane stove ensures hot meals, and ample farm equipment means moving snow is not a problem. My husband loves the chance to use his backhoe for these big jobs even if it doesn’t have an enclosed cab. This time, fortunately, electricity was plentiful and families were able to hunker down in relative comfort. Our internet satellite provided great opportunities to stay in touch with family, friends, and co-workers to compare snowfall totals and photos of indoor/outdoor fun.

Take joy in the gifts a snow day provides with a chance to stop whatever you were busily doing and just be somewhere without obligations, deadlines, or commitments. Take full advantage of these chances and enjoy the “free” time Mother Nature has given you. Finish reading a book or play a few card/board games with your kids. After all, when was the last time you play UNO for an entire afternoon?

Next time you find yourself marking time waiting for a storm to pass, a doctor’s appointment, traffic, or a checkout line take a moment to breathe deeply, listen to soothing or upbeat music (sing to the radio!) and thank God for one good thing in your life at that moment. “We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. Become one in the present with all of the roses that show up in your life,” (from Excuses Begone! By Dr. Wayne D. Dyer).

Grandma’s Frugal Secrets for Surviving on Next to Nothing

The idea of buying anything NEW was foreign to my grandma’s generation (Grandma Gracie, still going at 89, is shown with me, at right). She typically reused stuff they already had for whatever she needed. Grandma Alice (shown below) used outgrown or worn-out clothes (with the buttons or other closures cut off and saved for future reuse) for scraps for quilts or other household items like clothespin bags. Empty jelly jars or old canning jars stored everything from leftover food to buttons, silverware, toothbrushes, and the like. You used everything up even cutting up tubes of this and that to scrape out the last little bit. Those memories shed light on valuable skills I’m finding so important in surviving The Great Recession, which has made us all rethink our spending and what we consider “essentials.”

Being thrifty is even fashionable now with magazines, TV shows, and newspapers all jockeying for our attention with money-savings tips and lessons. The days of American gluttony are a thing of the past replaced by a more conservation-minded class of folk. My sister and I have transformed the idea of “living on less” into a game. Anytime we get a great deal or awesome cheap idea, we share it with each other do Atta-girls. The really fun part is learning to be creative with meeting your family’s needs.

My gift to YOU is this list of “Grandma’s Frugal Secrets for Living on Next to Nothing.” Hope you find some useful stuff in here to save you some dough on everyday stuff and holiday gift giving. Enjoy!

Everyday Secrets:

Put on a Sweater – Saving money on your heating costs is simple and doesn’t have to leave you feeling cold. Try this: turn down your thermostat 5 degrees, or better yet get a programmable thermostat and lower the temp while you’re sleeping even more. Learn to put on a sweater, wear slippers or extra socks, get a small space heater to heat the main room you live in, and close the vents and doors on rooms you don’t use frequently. For more tips, visit http://www.thefrugallife.com/heatsave.html.

Turn off that Light – Turn off lights when you leave a room. Better yet, replace those regular light bulbs with energy-efficient CFL bulbs. Plug your computer, printer, and other electronics into power strips and turn off the power with one button when done.

Shut the Door – Check your doors and windows for drafts and replace weather stripping and caulk where needed. No sense heating/cooling the whole outdoors.

Steady Speed and Fewer Trips - Drive evenly with a steady foot. Avoid jiggling the accelerator. Cruise control helps maintain a constant speed. Learn to plan out your trips to consolidate your weekly errands. Pull out slowly from a stop sign and accelerate more easily. Wait until everyone is in the vehicle before starting the engine to reduce idling. Following these instructions will help you increase your gas mileage.
For more info, visit http://www.fueleconomy.gov/.

Twice a Year – Dentists recommend regularly cleanings at least twice a year, and more if needed. It would be unwise to not go twice a year, no matter how healthy your teeth and gums are, because you never know when a problem will arise. The sooner that a problem is found, the sooner it will get fixed, and the less money you´ll need to spend on expensive dental procedures.

Exercise to Stay Healthy - Daily exercise boosts your immune system and keeps you healthier (meaning fewer trips to the doctor for medication). Even 15 minutes of walking in place while watching TV daily can be enough to get your body moving. Gradually increase your exercise each day to boost your immunity even more. Use cans of vegetables for weights to exercise your arms while you walk too. For more ideas, click Stay Healthy.

Unused Clothing – Got a sweater as a gift you never wore or a favorite sweatshirt you’ve worn to shreds that you can’t seem to toss? Got old kids’ clothes and uniforms cluttering your closets? Transform them into pillow covers, tote bags, a plastic grocery bag holder, clothespin bag, or cosmetic case with Velcro closure. Make several larger tote bags and store them in your vehicle to use for carrying home groceries (keeps those plastic bags out of your house too). For even more tips, click Reusing Clothing.

Cardboard Boxes – Reuse those sturdy boxes that shoes and so many other products come in by wrapping them in pretty or simple brown wrapping paper. Use the boxes to organize your closets and other cluttered. Use a marker to label each box’s contents for easy identification.

Tin Foil - Did you know that you can re-use tin foil? Just wash/dry and store for another use. A wad of tin foil is a great tool for getting the grease off your grill grate too! More ideas at Reusing Tin Foil.

Leftover Wallpaper - Use leftover wallpaper scraps to line drawers and shelves.

Cotton Balls - Instead of throwing away the cotton that comes in a bottle of pills, use it. Save it in the same bag as all of your regular cotton balls, so you remember to use it the next time you need a cotton ball.

Plastic Drink Bottles - Use the top half of a plastic soda bottle to make a disposable funnel. Take that cap off the bottle, and then cut it to the funnel size that you want. The part that you used to drink out of acts as the funnel. For more ideas on recycling everyday items, click Recycling Crafts.

Toothpaste as a Cleaner - Why spend money on expensive cleaners when all you need is a tube of toothpaste? Try it to: polish silver and gold, remove crayon marks from walls, remove ink spots from cloth, remove fruit punch "moustaches" from kids, deodorize smelly hands, remove scuffs from shoes, and fill holes in walls. For details, click Amazing Uses for Toothpaste.

Baking Soda – Baking soda is a cheap cleaning magician that can:

• Clean a drain (pour two tablespoons down a sink with a ½ cup of vinegar)
• Whiten clothes (just add a ¼ cup with your regular laundry soap)
• Make mashed potatoes fluffier (just add a pinch while mashing them)
• Get fresh vegetables cleaner (add 2-3 teaspoons in cold water)
• Clean your dishwasher (add 1-2 tablespoons to any wash cycle to remove odors and make the inside sparkle).
• For more uses & recipes, go to Magical Baking Soda.

Gift Giving Secrets:

Think Before You Buy - Before you purchase an item, think about how many hours you had to work at your job to earn the money to buy the item. Sometimes, when you think about it that way, you´re more likely to only purchase it if it´s a necessity, or at least try harder to find a bargain.

Family Cookbook - Put together a list of favorite family recipes organized by seasonal varieties (like holiday dishes and desserts) or uses for leftovers. You can have it copied and bound at a local Kinko’s or other copy center.

Share your Talents - Offer to teach a skill you possess, such as canning, swing dancing, knitting, furniture making, or doing the butterfly stroke. Offer free services in one of your skill areas—such as photography, gardening, or financial planning. Create a Family Video Documentary and record interviews with relatives. You can ask them to share memories of the person you plan to give the recording to, or tell stories of your family history.

Pass It On - Pass on possessions that you no longer use but would be useful to others. Like a sewing machine to someone who wants to learn to sew. Share the history of the article with the recipient. Give away the last great book you bought and enjoyed to someone with similar taste.

Have a “re-gift” swap - We all have gift-quality things in our closets we don’t actually use (many left over from holidays past, still in the box). Get together with a few like-minded friends and trade them for items that fit your gift list.

Green Living - Help someone green their home: give them a boost with a compost bin, insulation project, water efficiency improvements, or other task they may have a hard time starting on their own.

Gift of Time - Special activities with a loved one like a candlelight dinner, massage, picnic, or even a monthly lunch date with an elderly relative or friend.

Letters of Love - Celebrate your loved ones by writing them a letter listing all their qualities you admire.

Simply Grateful

When's the last time you were thankful for clean clothes or a warm bed to sleep in at night? Learning to be grateful for the little things in life opens the broader possibilities all around. In our grocery-store society with 24-hour Wal-marts and endless supplies of toilet paper, have we distanced ourselves too much from life’s simple wonders? I myself am forever making To Do lists, but lately I wonder if I shouldn’t do more to keep things off the list rather than write everything down.

Daily workouts, walking the dog, and preparing healthy meals have become my priorities. Autumn joys like canning apple butter and hot salsa let me store our garden bounty while savoring the wonderful smells that fill the kitchen. Yes, it would be easier to buy stuff at the store, but I would miss the thrill of picking ripe fruit and veggies from their vines, gently cleaning their skins, blending them into mouthwatering combinations, and pouring the finished creations into awaiting steaming-hot jars.

On one of my many walks with the dog amid the grove of trees by our road, I uncovered a large, flat rock the size of my palm. I love running my fingers along its broad, smooth, stone-gray surface. With a silver paint-pen, I inscribed the message “Be Grateful” on one side and “Let it go…free your soul” on the other. It reminds me that simple pleasures are often the most memorable because they appeal to your many sensibilities. As I touch the rock and scan the message, I’m instantly transformed back to that moment in the woods amid the trees and nature.

After all, the world is a vast and awe-inspiring place. We are but one seed growing a grand field…surrounded by other seeds and plants that are living, growing, withering, and rotting into dust. At times, we become so engrossed in our own stresses and worries that we forget to look up at the surrounding fields and take comfort that we are not alone in our little ecosystem. The great cycle of life has many seasons just as our own lives are comprised of minutes, days, weeks, and years. Be grateful for the simple joy of each moment.

Dirty Little Habit

Early one morning with a large coffee one hand and the latest issue of Horticulture magazine in the other, I perused the editorial intro examining how people got into gardening. Immediately, I was caught up in thoughts of what got me started. Initially, a love of flowers and beautiful foliage inspired my “dirty” habit, but the waning economy has definitely encouraged me to expand my plots. If you love flowers, plant a garden (use seeds and they’re dirt cheap, pun intended)! If you like fresh produce and need to save money, plant a garden. To give a meal real flavor, you can’t beat the taste of just-picked fruits and veggies (like these from my garden, right).

Most folks think this time of year means gardening season is ending in our region. Instead, potted herbs like this rosemary (shown left) and flowers over-wintered indoors make the long, cold months seem less barren. Being quite a gardening junkie, the idea of allowing winter to interfere with my dirty little habit is unfathomable. My mind is reeling with ideas for someday building an attached greenhouse along the south side of our farmhouse. Being able to dig in dirt in the mornings with my coffee mug beside me and before bed at night would be heaven on earth.

For now, plant stands packed along south-facing sliding doors in the family room (just off the kitchen) provide ample space. Newspapers on the counter and the kitchen sink work well to divide and repot plants. A lower cabinet in the kitchen stores potting supplies, plant food, and soil. This area works quite well, but there are times my family gets annoyed with my dirtying the kitchen for hours at a time. Some would call it a hobby, I suppose, but gardening is more of an obsession to me. I become completely absorbed when I fuss over my plants, but they do filter our indoor air so it’s a healthy addiction really.

With warmer weather hanging on less and less each day before fall sets in, my outdoor gardening days are numbered. There’s always pruning to do, so I’ll be busily working our paths (like the one shown here) on the 4-wheeler with my trusty tools trimming away here and there. Soon our local garden center will be putting all their leftover seed packets on clearance and I’ll be right there planning my winter garden. This year, I’m going to invest in some grow lights and better plant shelves. It’s not a greenhouse, but that will feed my craving to cultivate well enough for now.

The Telling

The telling of a story is what solidifies the memory especially since the more you tell it, the more detailed your story becomes. Reminiscing with family and friends can transform even the most stressful situations into funny anecdotes and new experiences into the best of times. Just compare thoughts of a painful experience DAYS afterward and then WEEKS later. In days, the agony is still fresh, but after a few weeks, you are able to laugh and make light of things. The experience is the same only your memory of it has changed.

Our recent vacation to the northern lakes of Arkansas provided many memories to savor. We did a lot of boating, swimming, and even some cliff jumping (as shown here). The cliff jumping, in particular, caused me great worry at the time as I was sure they’d hit their heads on a rock and plummet to their deaths. Nothing that dramatic happened, of course, and now those worries seem quite amusing.

Yet, watching them leap from those cliffs the first few times, I was spouting the typical mom-isms, “Be careful!”, “No diving or doing flips!”, and “Watch where you’re jumping so you don’t break your neck!” The boys grudgingly settled for jumping (a concession I finally agreed to) and I bit my tongue hard each time they leapt off the rocks into the watery depths below.

Hearing our boys tell their own stories of our vacation (especially the cliff jumping), I laugh seeing how incredible those memories are to them. Thankfully, they leave out the part about me freaking out at first!

Live Deliberately

Precious moments require perspective to appreciate. Some are gut-wrenching moments you’d purge from your life if you could, but the lessons those hard times teach us are key learning experiences that shape our lives remarkably. They also help us treasure the heart-melting moments that can be but a second long yet stay with us a lifetime. And would we even notice the marvel without the misery?

As I write this, our family has been reunited with our beloved patriarch finally home “for good” from his yearlong deployment in Iraq. The joyous reunions and adjustments to togetherness have been welcome changes filled with amazement and tension alike. My own therapy during my husband’s deployment included an experiment with a recommendation for daily rigorous exercise to manage stress and anxiety. Sharing this knowledge with my husband recently has given him newfound excitement for living “deliberately” as I like to call it.

I use the word as a way to define the freedom you experience when you exercise away your frustrations and tensions, leaving you with more energy for the good stuff. It really is the simplest form of stress relief available reminding us of the inter-connectedness of life experiences even from one moment to the next. Sweating and a hard workout offers a kind of mind-body purging that cleanses your body and resets things back to neutral. So, take one dose of exercise daily for best stress-relief results and be ready to reap the benefits of living deliberately.

The City Garden and the Country Garden

As a young girl, I always enjoyed the children’s story The Country Mouse and the City Mouse. It seems we are all like those two mice enjoying the trip to the “other side” now and then, which makes coming home more worthwhile. In my daily commute to work and while running errands, I love to look at all types of gardens to get ideas and just take in their beauty. In my observation, gardeners are like those two mice with two basic types of gardens: City Gardens and Country Gardens.

All gardeners have a love of plants and the outdoors, yet where you garden influences your landscape persona as much as the plants you choose. Of course, there are many different styles of gardens (such as Japanese and English); however, the square footage you have to work with and the locale do determine your options. In town, for example, city and/or neighborhood covenants usually specify certain rules about what you can and cannot do in your yard, which gives City Gardens a more structured personality. In contrast, the expansive and uninhibited characteristics of Country Gardens afford quite a different atmosphere.

My own rural setting provides certain freedoms but there are times I am guilty of City Garden envy. Having a vast space to work with is wonderful, but it also means there are many more beds to be mulched and tended. At times, driving in town I’ll see a compact, perfectly-manicured City Garden (like the one shown right) and think, “Wouldn’t something like that be so nice.” But then I’ll sit on my front porch after a long day weeding with a glass of iced tea surrounded by the sounds of songbirds echoing through the landscape and I quickly change my opinion. After all, what good is a peaceful garden if the traffic noise drowns out the joys of nature?

Flower Gardening Made Easy

CHOOSE COLOR(S) WISELY BEFORE GOING TO THE GARDEN CENTER! - Think about the colors you want in your garden. Many 1st time gardeners (including me once) just go to the garden center and start choosing whatever stuff they like and don't consider how the colors work together. It's better if you stick to TWO COLORS of flowers in your garden or just ONE. Choose colors that look good together (my favorites PURPLE and YELLOW.)

FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION - You can buy all the plants listed below already started in pots at any garden center so you don’t have to worry about how/when to plant the bulbs and seeds.

FOR THE BUDGET-MINDED - If you are on a limited gardening budget, planting from seed and bulbs will save you a lot of money, but you will not get to see the fruits of your labor until next year. Try planting bulbs and seeds and mix in a few grown plants for some blooms now knowing you’ll see even more when the others take root next year.

SPRING COLOR - If you want spring TULIPS and DAFFODILS, but didn't plant your bulbs last fall, you can buy blooming plants at the garden center to plant right now in your garden. They will continue to come up year after year. Plant these in a sunny or partly sunny spot.

SUMMER COLOR - For sunny spots, try summer blooming DAYLILIES (left) and IRISES (right) or Aug/Sept blooming MUMS, which all come up every year. The nice thing about these particular sunny plants is that their leaves look nice before and after they bloom so you can keep your flower beds nicely filled in if you cut off the dead blooms after they wilt (give your kids some safety scissors and have them help you out with this for family fun).


SHADY SPOTS - If you have a shady spot, plant HOSTAS (shown left) as they always grow well in most any soil and come up every year. They are a big leafy green plant (not like a bush) with long stemmed purple flowers that bloom briefly in mid-summer.


FOR SEASON-LONG COLOR - If you want a few plants to sit on the front steps for color to bloom all season long, choose GERANIUMS (right), which come in white, pink, purple, or red. They won't come back each year, but they will re-bloom all season especially if you give them a little bloom food now and then.

For help on choosing what to plant, visit: Flower Gardening Made Easy

Imagine Life without a Computer?

Today a random and seemingly trivial thought ran through my mind: what would daily life be without a computer and, more significantly, without the Internet? No email, instant weather or news updates, infinite Search engines, or do-it-yourself flight reservations. Wow, I hadn’t realized just how connected I really am to my computer until I really thought of what it would mean to do without it.

For some reason, the thought occurred to me while scanning headlines from my favorite news site CNN.com with an article titled, “Ninety years of birdwatchers’ notes going online.” The North American Bird Phenology Program is publishing online bird watchers’ notes (like the one shown here, right) dated from as far back as 1880. Over 6 million hand-written note cards worth of avian insights on over 900 species (some of which have since become extinct) are being converted into a computer catalog for browsing and searching. Oh, the marvel of instant access to these miraculous words of wonder!

The significant impact of these and countless other things we now take for granted like being able to email friends and family all across the globe with just a few keyboard strokes and mouse clicks is awe-inspiring. So, could I do the same things without a computer? Yes, but undoubtedly with more effort. I do already write monthly letters to my grandmother in southern Iowa, as she herself has never used a computer. The local news stations provide updated news and weather, as do many cable stations devoted to keeping us updated on current events. Libraries used to be, and for many still are, the information-keepers, yet that avenue requires (like many things) travel and more work to do the same task.

Even the computer itself has become ever more flexible as laptops provide easy transport from room-to-room or portable offices for travel. We can watch DVDs, listen to music, make and print greeting cards, edit home-movies and digital photographs, and do our own income taxes. I think of how much trouble my grandmother had learning to use a remote control for her television and chuckle knowing she will never have use for a cell phone or GPS device (she doesn’t even know how to drive anyway). So, yea I could get along well enough without a computer I suppose, but I sure would miss it!