Alien Invasion

Somehow, I thought this deployment would be easier given that we’ve been through the experience before and know what to expect. As usual, life proved just as unpredictable as ever when it comes to human emotions. A few weeks ago, I began having what my doctor called “panic attacks,” but for me it was as if an explosion went off inside my body with the racing heart, profuse sweating, and frantic thoughts.

Confused and unnerved, I opted to take a break from work and started driving around town in my car crying and trying to figure out how to expel the demons. In retrospect, the scene is quite amusing but in the thick of the moment, these sudden emotions felt like an alien invasion bent on destruction. The only other times I’ve had episodes like these involved trying to shop at Wal-mart in rush hour. Yet unlike shopping, I couldn’t just leave my cart and exit the store to drive home to escape the anxiety. This particular panic episode would require another solution.

Ironically, the movie Aliens was on TV recently and watching it was surreal…especially the alien-bursting-from-the-chest nightmares that Sigourney Weaver’s character has throughout the movie. It made me wonder if the writer(s) of the original Alien story experienced panic attacks and decided to make up a story about what it would feel like to have one. Speaking from experience, I think they got it exactly right. Your fears and anxieties hunt you down and when they catch you, they don't kill you, but instead implant the evil seeds of panic in the pit of your stomach. Eventually, the panic rises up and can feel like it will burst through your chest and kill you instantly.

After a while, it became clear the aliens weren’t going to leave me on their own accord. I would need some type of exorcist to help me out on this one. Not being catholic and unaware of any local, practicing exorcists, I opted for some counseling/therapy and a trip to my doctor. I can’t say it has been a miracle cure, but slowly day-by-day and week-by-week I have started to feel good again. Being able finally to get good, quality sleep has transformed me, shockingly, into a morning person. OK, I’m not a member of the Perky Morning Crowd, but getting up in the mornings definitely has become easier and even (dare I say) enjoyable.