Giving Thanks and Giving Back

An electricity stirs as the Holiday season approaches. Thoughts of turkey, football games, and shopping fill our minds. We plan gatherings and prepare favorite food dishes. What feeds us most, though, are memories shared. We think of loved ones no longer there to join us at the dinner table. We give thanks for the blessings and people currently in our lives. It’s the one time of year we take the time to feel “blessed.”

There are so many ways we can give thanks. This year I started going to my Grandma Gracie’s apartment to clean for her on a regular basis. The arrangement started after a frantic phone call from a distance relative. Gracie had fallen and sported bruises on one side. There was talk of getting her help and lots of what-if’s.

My mind wandered back to the early 1990’s when her husband, Jim, was diagnosed with cancer. After chemo and radiation failed to control the disease, grandpa decided to stop treatment. They sold their home and moved into the apartment grandma now occupies. He died in the living room in a hospital bed brought in by Hospice.

As talk about grandma’s health continues, the only thing I know is that my sweet, loving, devoted grandmother deserves to die how and where she chooses, just like grandpa. He was a retired farmer, no health insurance save Medicare. He didn’t want to waste his life-savings, money grandma would need to live, on medical bills. He didn’t want to die, but he loved her and needed to know that she had what she needed.

Each time I make the 2-hour drive from Central City to Blakesburg, I imagine grandpa sitting in the passenger seat beside me. He’s the age I always remember him with old jeans, a plaid shirt, cowboy boots, and that faded tan cowboy hat. In my head, I hear him talk, sporting a toothpick in his mouth like always. He never says it, but I know there’s a Thank You in there somewhere.

Thorns & Healing

Have you ever got a thorn stuck in your finger? The deep invisible ones are the most aggravating. My first instinct is to dig it out. Even then, there can be a tiny speck left unseen. Eventually, a sore spot forms and reddens, a painful reminder that the thorn is still there. You keep rubbing your fingers over the spot knowing what’s inside. All you can do is to wait for your body to push it up and out. Soon a puss pocket forms. Then one day, the infection will erupt, expelling the foreign body.

Maybe our bodies heal all wounds the same, even emotional trauma. It lies beneath the surface, hurting and unseen. Some of us try digging it out with therapy or working through it with vigorous exercise. Other times we do our best to numb it with substances and medication. But even medical professionals can’t reach the specks of trauma left deep inside. They leave sore spots on our tender souls. All we can do is wait for the eruption, if it ever happens.

Recently, I read a story about the lifelong physical, biological, and behavioral problems that sexual abuse victims suffer. The study confirms what many victims have known all their lives: it’s never really over. At least it’s confirmation, validation, proof. But the human body is an amazing thing. It automatically regenerates itself. We can try to speed up the process by changing where we live, what we do for a living, what we look like or even our names. But, ultimately, we just have to wait for our bodies to form a ‘puss pocket’ around the hurt. One day, the infection will erupt, expelling the trauma.

Some never get an eruption. Some of us systematically avoid it in a futile attempt to erase it from our existence. I’ve heard counselors repeat how things can only hurt you if you let them. But, that’s not true. Pain hurts. Trauma hurts. It’s part of being human. We can’t change that no matter how strong our sense of self is.

Time is the only remedy for easing those hurts. I so wish there was a faster method or a magic formula. A recipe to follow with careful measurements and instructions that would reset my body back to WHOLE and HAPPY.  Yet those difficulties make us who we are. They shape us. They give us other gifts. Writing is my gift. Would I have developed this need to express thoughts on the page without the trauma? Perhaps not.

Top 5 Worst & Best Software Features

We all get used to software programs, finally mastering them and knowing where to find stuff, only to discover a recent “update” ruined everything.  It may be a new version loaded on our work PCs or some new software we bought that has more than its share of quirks or oddities.  Suddenly, things are different.  You can’t press the same keystrokes or buttons to do a critical task.  The new “feature” has ruined your day.  You’ll have to waste valuable time re-learning things the new way.

I’m sure you recall these frustrating moments.  You likely also have seen stuff you thought was dumb.  Me too.  So, for the sake of poking fun at the weird, wrong, and witless features I’ve encountered, I’m sharing my personal list of pet peeves.  And just so I don’t seem like too much of a grouch, I’m also listing the best/most helpful new features.

Worst Software Features Ever:

1.      The Ribbon Bar in Microsoft Office 2007-2010
Did you know you can make the buttons smaller (or larger) by adjusting your Windows Menu font size?  Try it.

2.      Facebook’s Poke feature
I just don’t get the point.  You poke someone, someone poke’s you, you poke them back.  I’m either too old to understand or the concept is lost on me.

3.      AOL’s “You’ve Got Mail” sound
This e-mail notification was fun for about 5 minutes.  Then, it was just too annoying.  I had to turn it off.

4.      Paperclip/Puppy Icon in Microsoft Office Help
This feature has a love/hate following (I’m the latter).  When I ask for assistance, I don’t need a warm fuzzy.  I just need to know how to do something.

5.      Online Survey, Need Help?  Dialogs
When I’m browsing through a list of products, I can’t fill out a survey telling you what I think of it yet.  Ditto for the Need Help?  dialog that pops up the minute you search for something.  Just let me see if you have what I need first.  If I need help, I’ll ask.  What I would like is a “Don’t Ask Me This Again” button.

 Best Software Ideas Ever:

1.      Facebook’s Like button
I’m addicted to this.  I want to see it everywhere on the web.

2.      Facebook/Twitter
Love that I can see what my friends are up to and connect with family across the world without sending each one an individual message or e-mail.  OK, that sounds lazy, but I consider it being more efficient! 

3.      Toolbars in general
OK, these can be overdone (as the Microsoft Ribbon proves), but the addition of toolbars with icons to access program features was a welcome invention.

4.      Google Maps/Driving Directions/Vehicle Navigation
For chronically lost drivers (like me) these are a lifesaver.  Now that cell phones like the Android and iPhone are including these features, you can get current information & directions anywhere, anytime.

5.      Bluetooth
This invention is nothing short of amazing.  I have Microsoft Sync in my car and I can connect an iPod or my cell phone to my vehicle’s speaker system to hear music or make phone calls.  This should be standard equipment on all new vehicles (for obvious the safety reasons).

Smartphones: A Defense of Multi-tasking

No one needs a Smartphone.  Not really.  That said I am unable to live without mine.  The world as I now know it would cease to exist without my portable lifeline.  I’m not talking about being able to surf the internet from the bathroom (not that I’ve done that).  My Smartphone is more than just a cool gadget.  It’s my long-awaited ‘cure’ for attention deficit.  It's a gutsy claim, but hear me out.

My husband went in to get his phone upgraded at Verizon.  The salesman mentioned something about buy one get one free.  My eyes lit up.  "I can get one too?"  I wasn’t sure I needed one, but it was free (sort of). 

We settled on a pair of HTC Incredible android phones.  Soon we were surfing the web, checking our e-mail, and finding cool applications to download.  Within days, I was using my Smartphone to:

·    Be on time for medication/appointments/deadlines
·    Find things on Google maps
·        Track my spending
·        Sync with my laptop calendar
·        Track  To Do lists
·        Check Facebook
·        Send Twitter messages.

I struggle most with staying on task and remembering to do important stuff. 

Before, I used notepads, sticky notes, and a bulky day planner.  A co-worker called me a Post-It addict.  He was tired of going home to find my sticky notes stuck to the bottoms of his shoes.  It was a messy system.  But, if I don’t write things down, I won’t remember.  The other downfall is a planner can’t interrupt you to look at the reminder.  So, I’d end up writing notes on my hand in pen.  But even that wasn’t full proof because ink wears off after a few hand washings.

I take ADHD medication, but it offers only moderate relief compared to my Smartphone. 

A prime example is my Mercury Mariner’s Microsoft Sync feature.  It connects my phone as a hands-free device when I get inside the vehicle.  When I get a call, the car answers it.  When I want to make one, I press a button on the steering wheel.  I listen through the car’s speakers and talk through a hidden microphone.  For us distraction-prone drivers, it’s a lifesaver.

Halfway through my morning 30-minute commute one day, I realized I forgot my phone.  I drove home to get it.  I know I can’t live go back to life before my Droid phone.  Have I simply traded my sticky note addiction for a Smartphone?  Yes.  Am I safer because of it?  Again, yes.  Plus, the roads are a little safer for the rest of you.

Surprise Ending

Pages from my Novel (in progress)

Fussing over the final chapter of my novel, I find myself unable to walk away from these characters.  Technically, they’re just ideas and words on a page.  But, somewhere along the line, the story evolved.  It separated from me and became its own being.  It was no longer mine.  Yet, the umbilical, still intact, links me to each person, place, and scene.  Their world is now mine. 

I worry about severing this miraculous connection between author and novel.  Writing this book has served a vital purpose in my life.  It’s the reason that, in spite of being a self-professed night owl, I get up at 5:30 a.m. each day.  I do it seven days a week, eager to hit the laptop and bang out a few more pages.

All bookworms love the escape of being somebody else for a while.  Imagination fills in the visual details of the people and places.  You can stop anytime and pick up where you left off later.  I love reading on long car rides and plane trips.   But, my favorite reading spot is tucked in bed lying on my stomach.  I don’t know why, it just feels good.  

There are books I’ve read that I so thoroughly enjoyed I was left wanting more.  Dean Koontz’ book “Watchers” is one.  The relationship between the lead character and his super-intelligent dog was brilliant.  His more recent title “Breathless” was similar, but didn’t feel the same.  Both are great reads.  Still, I wish he’d write a sequel to Watchers.  I miss the dog. 

Soon, I’ll be homesick for the newfound friends of my first novel.  For now, I’m savoring every word. 

There's always a sequel, right?

DAY ONE: My 'Extreme Decluttering' Experiment



This armoire used to contain an
unused TV.  Now's its a pretty
new home for my shirts!

The weakened economy has Americans doing more than just learning to live with less income and gasoline. We are learning to live with less stuff. Being fanatical about cleaning and organizing, I enjoy scouring the internet for ideas and tips. On CNN’s website recently, I stumbled across an article about the latest trend of Extreme Decluttering. The article suggests pretending that you are planning to move overseas. What would you take with you? Of course, no one would lug everything in their home onto an airplane (or even pack and ship the stuff in crates). Naturally, planning such a move requires pairing down to the essentials.

I decided it would be like going on an extended vacation. What would I take? I started with hair and makeup products since that usually what I pack first. Like most women, my bathroom is full of products I don’t regularly use. Some are things I bought that didn’t work for me. Same thing happens with clothing and shoes. Although with those items, it’s usually that it goes out of style, doesn’t fit, or wears out. Then I thought about kitchen supplies. I’d probably just sell my stuff and buy new as it would likely be cheaper than shipping the old stuff. But still, I had all these extra items lying around my house that required storage that I didn’t use (and likely never would again). I had to wade through the extra items in my drawers, closets, and cupboards at times to get to the stuff I really need and use. It was silly, really, when I thought about it.

So how does one go about the seemingly enormous task of weeding out unused stuff? Even if I dedicated an entire weekend to the task, that would only cover the house. It wouldn’t touch the garden shed or the machine shed. There was just too much to do at once. Then I found a website touting a not-so-new concept called the Get Rid of a Thing a Day Challenge. Now, this was definitely a more realistic goal!

But what to pick for my first item? I considered our bedroom TV. Because of its smaller, poor quality screen, we rarely watched it. My husband and I agreed weeks ago that it and the cable TV receiver it uses could definitely go. Yet, they were still taking up valuable space in the armoire. So, while writing this blog entry, I got out of my chair and went to the bedroom. I unhooked the TV and the receiver and collected their remote controls. With help from our son, the stuff was hauled to my vehicle. I knew that would ensure I dropped the items off at Goodwill on my way to work Monday.

So, this is how my Extreme Decluttering experiment began. Where will yours begin? If you need help sticking to your goals, consider getting an Accountability Partner. I’m hoping that my husband or my sister will be mine. Already, I’m wondering what to pick tomorrow.

Celebrating the ‘Top 5’ of 2010

I’m not a resolution maker. My theory is: If you want something, do it. Of course, I love ‘checklists’ and ‘to do’ lists as much as anyone (which my post-it covered writing desk proves). But when even the grocery checkout lady is asking me for my New Year’s resolutions, I’m baffled. The whole tradition of an annual ‘hit list’ is simple enough. But to me, probing friends and family for New Year’s resolutions feels too much like the ‘tell me about your short and long-term goals’ question at a job interview.

Instead, I propose we celebrate our successes of the past year. Make a list of your Top 5 Accomplishments of 2010 (and toast yourself while you’re at it). If you’re like me, the best part of any checklist is marking off tasks when they’re done. It feels great to recognize those successful completions. So, let’s use this energy to propel ourselves into 2011 and make it our best year ever. To help you get started, I’ve listed my own below.

1. Book Project - This year I started writing a novel. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Currently, I’m 75% with the first draft. Fortunately, I love every minute and task involved in this project. Once the book is written, there’s lots of research to do to find an Agent and get on the path to being published. For those who are curious about the story, see the book summary below:
   
   MAGGIE LONG is plagued by an anxiety/panic disorder. Each day is a series of careful steps to avoid her stress triggers. A conversation with her sister LUCY leads to a secret about her past, Maggie confronts her parents JIM and RUTH, who reveal the villainous cause of her panic disorder. For Maggie, coping with most everything involves writing and journaling. So after being suddenly downsized from her Technical Writing job, she decides to pen a novel. When her grandmother FANNIE falls ill, she rushes to help. Then, a firm agrees to publish her first novel. Living her dream, she embarks on a book tour. But, as always, the evil panic demon lurks in the shadows. It mars her homecoming by inducing a bad case of writer’s block. Unable to work on her new novel, she must try a new method to drain her stress-filled barrel: running. But will this newfound strength be enough to silence the demon so she can resume her journey as a successful novelist?
    
2. Running for a Healthy Life – This year I started jogging. My sister-in-law inspired me by training for the Des Moines marathon. She wasn’t much of a runner either, so I figured that if she could do 26 miles, I could surely do a 5K (3.1 miles). After a brief set back with an ankle injury in October, I ran my first 4K (2.5 mile) race in November. Now, I’m addicted, but at least this is one habit I won’t have to kick!
   

3. Kindle e-Reader Reignites an Old Flame – I LOVE reading thanks to my mom who’d read me five stories a night as a child. Her efforts were not wasted as I still devour books, especially anything by Stephen King or Dean Koontz. Until I got an e-Reader, I was leery about the technology. Would I like it as much as my beloved paperbacks? All I can say is, OH YEA! If you haven’t seen one, check out the display models at Staples or Best Buy. The screen looks and reads like an actual paperback page (no eyestrain). If you like to dog-ear pages and highlight passages, you’ll love the e-Reader’s automatic bookmarking, full text searching, highlighting, and notes features. One small device holds thousands of books and holds a charge for up to a month (if you disable the Wi-Fi). Those 2-inch thick Stephen King books easily fit in my purse now!
   
4. Capturing Memories – I’m a frugal gal. My sister and I make a game of saving money. For me, the best deal of 2010 began as an experiment. Our oldest son, Sean, needed senior pictures and we dreaded the cost of a professional photographer. Using my shutter skills as an ‘accidental photographer,’ I took tons of outdoor pics (since I’m better with those), knowing I’d get at least a few good shots. After dropping off my digital images at Photo Pro in Cedar Rapids, I was rewarded with amazing, professional-looking images. I got 108 wallets, 14 5x7’s, and 2 8x10’s for $80.00 (that’s with a 20% discount for picking up the order on Friday). I saved money and enjoyed capturing those precious memories myself.
   

5. Letting Things Go – Another addiction of mine is cleaning, a side of me I jokingly call ‘The Clean Queen’. Clutter and chaos are intensely distracting, so I’ve always spent considerable time picking up, organizing and cleaning our house. Of course, writing a book requires a lot of effort and time at the keyboard. The dilemma was getting The Clean Queen to defer her standards for The Writer. After months of adjustment, I’ve finally learned to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere. My family helps more with household chores now too, which is another Hoorah! for this year.

Living without the Black Box

Our boys sitting around
The Black Box in our camper.

I wonder if television is rotting my brain, turning it into mush. The black box’s draw is especially strong on long, stressful days. I sit before it, like an altar, fixed on the screen seeking relief, an escape. At such times, I’m drawn to crime dramas, stories of strong female leads that triumph over crisis, and comedies. Laughter is the best tension reliever after a difficult day. Its instant, mood-changing quality eases tight muscles. Who doesn’t love laughing until you cry as your bladder threatens to burst?


Blue Jay @ feeder

Yet without restraint, I let the black box become a brain sucking, time devouring machine. Serial programs hook you and pique your interest as commercials peddle the latest must-have products. If you prefer, like me, stations such as Showtime and HBO without commercial interruptions, you likely sit around the box longer. At least those stations don’t require me to endure the awkward ‘male enhancement’ ads.

I found myself ignoring my favorite pastimes and hobbies in favor or the black box. But, I had nothing to show for my time at the end of the day. So, I opted to enact NO TV days (for myself) allowing only a radio or an iPod background noise. What a miracle happens when I do this! The beauty of Mother Nature comes alive, doing her best healing work on me. I made homemade suet cakes from leftover bacon grease, peanut butter, and sunflower-rich birdseed. I sat around the windows waiting to see how my recipe would be received. Woodpeckers and blue jays swarmed the suet feeder devouring the first suet cake in a single day.



Fall Maple Leaves

 As I watched the feeders the day of my suet experiment, I also saw goldfinches line up to munch on thistle seed. Cardinals, nuthatches, sparrows, and pigeons snacked on my homemade seed mixture (a big bag of cheap seed mixed with a medium-sized bag of black sunflower seed). Watching these natural joys and dramas filled my weary, tired soul more fully than anything found on the black box.


Later in the day, I hopped on our 4-wheeler to go around collecting kindling for the fireplace. I found gigantic Maple leaves to press flat and frame for Thanksgiving decor. I stopped to watch a flock of 20+ wild turkeys jogging through a grove and a herd of deer crossing an open field. I spied the rotting carcass of a coyote. I smelled the fresh, woody scent of pine trees. I collected fallen pinecones. 

Our Northern Sunset View

In an unfarmed section of field, tall, tan grass with heavy seed heads waved back and forth in the breeze. As the sun descended, the horizon transformed the landscape with a spectacular blend of turquoise, yellow, and amber. The falling temperature made me grateful for the headband and gloves that I’d brought along. As I headed back to the house, I felt alive and rejuvenated. I hadn’t missed the black box one bit.

Life is NOT a ‘To Do’ List



Melissa's Solution for a
Stressed Schedule

Like many Americans, I allow my life to revolve around To Do lists. I keep thinking if I could just get these things done, I can relax and even get away for a weekend retreat. But, that just never happens. In my own observation, there are many facets of life and ACCOMPLISHMENTS are but one part of our existence. Having wonderful EXPERIENCES and RELATIONSHIPS are the other two crucial elements. After all, when you simplify basic human needs, they boil down to three things: (1) food/water, (2) shelter/clothing, and (3) being cared for/loved.

So, why are we (and even our kids!) so chronically stressed and anxious? I believe our immediate-driven lifestyles are to blame allowing us to connect instantly with anyone, anywhere via instant messaging, cell phones and Wi-Fi. While I’m all for communication, a person needs time for themselves to stay focused on their own life’s priorities and goals. Plus, technology can never provide the true connection that face-to-face, human contact provides. Voices, photos, and videos are representations of people, but are only pieces of the true person and cannot be touched or felt.

My search for solutions on Amazon.com revealed scads of material on counteracting and relieving stress. But, the new-age remedies like breathing exercises and focused meditation haven’t worked for me in the past. I needed somebody to teach me how to relax again because I’d forgotten how to quiet my soul. That’s when I found “The SuperStress Solution” book by Dr. Roberta Lee, M.D.

It’s teaching me about balancing my ‘Qi’ (the life force that regulates our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health). For example, I’ve learned that my tendency to isolate myself when I feel frazzled occurs because my body is balancing the excited/agitated (‘yang’) with the quiet/passive (‘yin’). Whatever terms you use to describe these states, the exercises and de-stressing tools Dr. Lee teaches are nothing short of miraculous.

Dr. Lee proposes that we answer and adhere to our answers to the following questions?

1. What do you VALUE?
2. What do you STAND UP for?
3. What do you BELIEVE IN?
4. What is SACRED to you?
5. What would you SACRIFICE for?

My own list of treasures includes: Self/Spirituality, Family, Freedom, Independence, and Friends. Yet focusing on priorities becomes murky when the day-to-day, moment-by-moment stuff comes barreling at you like a bullet from a gun. I got into the habit of giving in too easily to the nagging requests before me. Before long, I’d set trends that ran counter to my values and what is sacred to me. That’s when I realized I was too focused on GETTING DONE QUICKLY rather than DOING IT RIGHT.

Nowadays, I counteract negative energy by playing nature sounds on my iPod for background noise when writing, reading or relaxing. The chirping birds, light rainfall, and sounds of the desert at night calm my soul. They don’t distract you with words or fast tempos. In a way, that’s what I like most about my favorite getaway: Camping. The sounds of a walk in the woods are the perfect remedy for stress, grounding your sensibilities. It’s simple, unadulterated living that culminates around a roaring, crackling campfire. Watching the logs glow and burn is hypnotic and lulls me into a meditative trance. It begs silence and attention in a mystical way.

Guess I knew how to relax, I just needed to give myself permission to slow down. Yea, I might end up keeping the To Do lists, but perhaps things like WALK THE DOG IN THE WOODS will be at the top.

What We DO Have Time For

I’m tired of hearing and reading about how out-of-balance we are juggling the ever-expanding roles and responsibilities our hectic lives require. Too often I find myself telling someone, “I would, but things are just so busy right now” only to realize there is never a time when I’m not frantic. Why do I let myself become sucked into the over-scheduling vortex? Guilt has this deadlock grip on me making me think I should do more than I’m capable of handling. The media doesn’t help matters and I’m shunning TV, print, and online news because it makes you feel bad about life. I take any more stories touting the evils of technology addiction, poor nutrition, and sleep deprivation.

I suppose such ominous facts grab our attention, which is ultimately the point. They want to pique your interest and we all know that bad news travels faster than the speed of light. However, my frustration with world affairs makes me glad I have the freedom to retreat from society to seek out others who desperately seek a path of light and optimism.

'Smiling Sisters'
My Grandma (Gracie, right) with her
dad (Johnnie) and two sisters
Lorena (left) and Francis mid 1940s.

To that end, I’ve compiled a list of things I DO have time for each day/week/month/year. Hopefully, you can find some useful tips, hope, and joy to fit into your own routine!

1. Smiles – It takes no extra time to SMILE and SAY THANKS to people throughout the day. I’m setting a goal to do this twice daily until it’s a permanent habit.

Recently we merged with another company in town and re-located our employees to their site. I was pleasantly surprised to find so many familiar faces (from other companies I’ve worked for over the years) along with many new friends. Smiling and saying hello to everyone (even ones I couldn’t name) makes me feel so at home

'Smiling Football Fans'
Rollie, dad, and me Sept. 2010 at the
Iowa vs. Iowa State football game.

 and comfortable. Had I taken a more standoffish stance, I’d surely get a far different reaction walking those halls each day. For inspiration, visit The Art of Smiling website.

2. Healthy Body – If I don’t treat my body well, I’m prone to illness plus feel tired and drained. A daily regimen of exercise plus eating fresh fruits and veggies keeps everything in good working order. Being fit gets me through those very busy, overwhelming days!

I’ve discovered as I age that eating and exercising properly is a necessity rather than a novelty. If I don’t eat yogurt and bananas for breakfast, my sinuses clog up and I get infections easily. If I forget to take my Citrucel fiber each morning, my intestines painfully remind me. Skipping exercise and stretching for more than a day gives me stiff joints and achy muscles. Giving my body what it craves lets me live every day more fully. If you need a kick in the butt to get healthier, check out this book I’m reading called "The Superstress Solution" by Roberta Lee, M.D. The 4-week diet and lifestyle program is a wonderful read on handling stress more efficiently, building resilience, relaxing, plus sleeping well and managing your weight.

3. Get Outdoors – I cannot say enough about the miraculous way nature fills my soul. A walk in the park or even sitting in my car facing a tree or meadow is entrancing. Watching the birds, squirrels, and other creatures scurrying about is both soothing and rejuvenating. Check out this article for motivation: Looking at Nature Makes You Nicer.

4. Simplicity – Everyone likes cool stuff (even me), but before I buy I ask, “Is this for a physical need or an emotional one?” Buying things feels good, but too much stuff makes more work, which I don’t need. Besides, most times a good cleaning/rearranging session makes me feel like got a new wardrobe or redecorated.

I love reading and have researched electronic book readers (where you can download thousands of titles via a web connection) at great length. Yet, I hesitate because buying books second-hand (at a fraction of the list price) and re-selling my old titles is so economical. Plus, printed versions let you write notes in margins, highlight favorite passages, are easily dried out when spilled on, can be shared with friends, and require no batteries or charging. If I traveled more for work, I’d invest in an e-reader, but for now, the low-tech print books are best.

5. Give within Limits – My mailbox and email are overflowing with ‘Won’t You Please Help…” requests, plus the nightly phone calls. Giving is good whether it’s your money or time, but setting limits makes saying ‘No’ easier. I confine myself to these charities: (1) soldier/veterans’ groups like the USO and DAV and (2) Easter Seals benefiting disabled children. Even if I only have $5 to give some years, that’s still good I did for someone else.

A Retreat Alone

(Two young maple trees
outside our farmhouse in 2000)

H.D. Thoreau heralded the wonders of being alone in nature. I have an old, worn paperback compilation of his works in my office that I periodically peruse when I need a good dose of earthy inspiration. Country life is miraculous because you can actually hear the wind blowing and bird’s voices echoing across the landscape. When a lone car or truck careens down the road, its approach is evident from a long way off. Although city-dwelling birds and creatures are numerous, their voices are drowned out among the urban chorus of machines, vehicles and crowds.

(One of our grown maples today)

Wanting to take advantage of these picturesque views, I recently rearranged my desk to face the office window looking eastward through a pair of stately maple trees. They were but rail-thin saplings when we bought the farm (as the above picture shows), but 10 years growth has transformed them into marvelous shade-filled beauties (as shown, right). From their branches, well-stocked bird feeders draw winged singers. In the early mornings when I rise to write, the sunlight spills through the leaves and onto the dewy grass beneath. Soon the greenery will transform into a palette of orange, red, and gold as fall arrives. For now, though, my senses gorge themselves with the cooler temperatures and the lush green Garden of Eden outside my window.

Unfortunately, life’s hectic journey encroaches on one’s time regardless of where you reside. Lawns still need mowed, carpets need vacuumed, and laundry needs washed no matter how serene things look outside your window. But for those few moments each morning, I have my little piece of heaven where nothing else exists. This brief meditation fills me with inspiration to wade through the hectic day of family, work, and personal responsibilities. As I write this now, a storm is brewing outside as the leaves are rustling loudly and the gray sky is thick and heavy. Better take my umbrella to work, but then again maybe a few raindrops would feel good.

CAUTION: Flamingo Crossing

These well-dressed flamingos
visting our farm last May sported
Americana-inspired scarves.

Family traditions can be engaging, difficult, and enlightening, but none is as entertaining as our own Flamingo Gang. This clan strikes by stealth leaving a flock of pink birds in their wake with other telltale signs claiming responsibility. No one remembers (or admits knowing) where the practice originated, but many family members have been implicated in the gang’s antics.

The level of creativity displayed at some sites leaves little doubt that considerable planning goes into these artistic arrangements. And, there’s no denying the attention these exhibitions attract.

The Flamingo Gang left this
calling card on the mailbox.

Who can blame drivers for slowing to gawk at a perfectly lush lawn containing a strange collection of flamingoes surrounding an old toilet littered with beer cans as if they’d been out on an all-night bender. The victim is then tasked with selecting the next target while allowing enough time to elapse between incidents as to question who was responsible for the latest episode.

Some might consider the tradition juvenile or at least strange. But, isn’t retaining a childish sense of fun an ageless pursuit? We spend too much of our lives being serious and rushing from one thing to the next, so a little flamingo humor now and then is a healthy thing.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This blog author in no way admits to having direct knowledge of or experience with The Flamingo Gang and/or the incidents described herein. She is merely relating this engaging tale for the sole purpose of making you laugh!

Reclaiming Space

Crowded Office (BEFORE)

Anyone who’d witnessed the truckload of stuff we hauled to Goodwill this weekend surely wondered what we were up to here. The big cleanout initiated from my lifelong desire to start my own writing business and I needed a dedicated space for the job. However, our modest 1800-square-foot home doesn’t afford us many options for a home-based business. The office/den area is half of a long, narrow room in our house that also houses the living area, separated by a partial wall. Being technology geeks, we have three desktops and two laptops in our house, four of which were jam-packed like sardines into that small office. You could hardly move your chair without bumping into another one.

My Writing Office (AFTER)

Everyone who’s visited our home in the last year always asked the same thing, “How many computers do you have?” That should have been a sign something needed done, but we always used the excuse ‘there’s nowhere else to put them’ to justify ignoring the problem. Of course, trying to write amidst all this activity (especially a rowdy game of CounterStrike) did little to foster my creativity. Although having an entire room was a luxury, to be a serious writer, I needed a place of my own to feel professional, be productive, and get inspired. On a whim, I ran the idea by my husband to reconfigure the space solely for my writing business. Somehow, within a matter of hours, we made a plan to:

(1) Clean/organize the closets to store clothes and eliminate the bulky dressers.

(2) Sell the unused workout equipment (since we bike outdoors or use our gym membership).

(3) Move the desktop computers to one of the boys’ bedrooms.

When Friday night rolled around, I was itching to get started. By Saturday evening, we had reclaimed every closet in our house and I finally had that office space all to myself. It is grand (to me anyway) and I love working in this space. There is definitely something magical about having a room (aka ‘office’) of one’s own.